#IWUHC2015

The past year has been quite a journey, and what I have learned the most directly relates to expression, creativity, and finding my authentic self. In the next week, I will be making a trip back to Illinois Wesleyan University to celebrate my five-year anniversary of graduating with my BFA in Acting. I am absolutely thrilled to be going back and seeing my best friends, bonding over memories of those four special years, and seeing the beautiful Midwest campus in all of her autumn glory.

The School of Theatre Arts has recently made it a tradition that every year during every IWU Homecoming, the graduation class from five years prior are invited back to campus to share their journeys from the “real world” since graduating. What an honor, right? How exciting to hear words of wisdom and experiences from the world of entertainment! I have been talking with several of my friends, and while we look forward to going back, our feelings definitely veer from this “excitement” zone. Will it be awesome to go back to IWU and see all of our amazing professors? Of course. Will it be amazing to catch up with one another? Yes, surely. But our nerves are definitely building up (at least mine are!) The pressure is on to be shining examples of what it means to have graduated from IWU’s School of Theatre Arts. What does that even mean?!

First of all, where have those five years gone? It feels impossible. It seems as though I just packed up my car with my parents, and drove with my Mother across the United States to set up a life for myself and live my dreams in the City of Angels.  It feels like I just started waiting tables (which certainly made the stereotype of being an artist even more realistic”. It seems like I just had my first professional acting gig, or my graduation show at Second City. However, that is not the case; each of these things actually happened long ago. And where the initial question is “What the hell have I possibly done in these five years that these students want to hear about?”, the truth is, so much has happened. So, so, so, so much has happened. Has it all been roses and sunshine, and audition after audition after audition, endless bookings, and feeling like I’m on top of the world? Hell no, and at several times, quite the opposite. Have wonderful things happened in my life in Los Angeles? Of course. Many amazing experiences I could never have dreamed of, but each one of those was paired along with thousands of struggles and hardships.

For me, the hardest thing about being out here on the west coast and doing what I love is being so far away from the people I love most in this world. My family. My friends. Have I made some pretty awesome friends out in Los Angeles? You betcha (many of them being form the Midwest, ah hem, Chicago), and it has been so much fun forming those relationships and being by each other’s sides through thick and thin. But my family is not out here; the people in my life who have been there through everything. My family, who were always just a drive away while I was at IWU. Hearing their voices or seeing them over Skype is as close as I can get to them some days. And you know what? It sucks, because that is not enough. I need to hug my Mom and Dad. I need to laugh with my sister. I need to play baseball with my little cousin, and be at his games, but I cannot. Dreams come with sacrifices, which is something you are told about in college, but until you truly are living it and experiencing it, it is a reality that is hard to grasp.

I was fortunate enough to go to a University that had a theatre program that was very small, and followed somewhat of a “conservatory” style, in the sense that we were around the same people all of the time, with a small pool of professors and students. We got wonderful one on one attention, which I believe helped challenge us even more because we were constantly pushing one another, and we were being celebrated as individuals. But you know what else happens when you are around people so much? When you are seeing each other change, grow, and form your own unique selves for four years? You build the most intense, loving and passionate relationships. My friends from college are the people who know me most on this planet; they saw me grow into the person that I am now. They pushed me to be my best, and they saw me succeed and fail again and again and again. The bonds we have can never be broken. However, you know what I was not prepared for after graduation? They change. The bonds change, because people are constantly changing. In college we were by each other’s sides through those changes, and now, we are not. Sure, we can call one another and cry and complain and question our lives with one another… but we aren’t there to hold each other in the dorm room bathrooms crying our eyes out at 2 A.M. And we find (or attempt) to find new people to fill those shoes. For me, that has been the biggest challenge living in Los Angeles, because it feels like starting college all over again. I moved out here not knowing anyone (Ok, except you, Mr. David Ruben – thanks for all of your love & encouragement).  I had to forge the road for myself, keep pushing myself, believing in myself. But for a while, this was all by myself. And lots of times I just wanted to fly back to Illinois and hug it out with my parents, and drink wine with my college roomies, and forget about the craziness of the world. But I couldn’t. And you know what? It just fucking sucked. Every single time.

As much as that hurts, I truly believe that life is beautiful and brings people into our lives at special moments that we really need them. I have met so many wonderful people in Los Angeles, but it takes time to really build friendships. Relationships take time, and that is something I had forgotten because I was around my friends constantly at IWU; a blessing that perhaps  I didn’t realize I had at the time.

There are many things I reflect on during that point in my life that I didn’t realize were such gifts to us all. The immense amount of artistic work and creativity we were doing was INSANE! At the time, even though we loved what we were doing, it felt like we were forced to “do our best” for a grade or validation of our talent. Looking back, I see how truly lucky we were. Every damn day we were coming together to create, to express ourselves through characters, and we were nurtured to do so by our wise and beautifully creative professors. Hey, current students of IWU? THE WORLD DOES NOT WORK THIS WAY. (Oops, was that too blunt?) It is a GIFT what you have now. The world does not care if you do not get up every morning to apply yourself to your career. You can sleep in, you can party hard, you can blow off an audition, you know why? Because nobody cares. It’s a choice you make, and you will quickly learn your choices and behaviors form to create the “present you”. Now, the beautiful thing about this is you can find a strength, drive and persistence you never knew you had; to create things, to make it happen in your life, and to hold yourself accountable. And that strength and ability to create through your independence and drive can get you through some of the hardest times of your life.

That is what I have been exploring the most this year – what it means to truly create for yourself, and step into your authenticity as an artist in this industry & world. It has been such a wonderfully rewarding adventure to find people I really jive with, and to be storytellers together. I have found communities of other creatives that support and uplift one another, and that has been such a gift.

I am excited to share my journey next week with the IWU Theatre Department, and even more excited to be with some of the people I love most in this world. I am nervous and anxious, but I think what these students need to hear the most is that we are all on our own journey, and that will never change. There is no cookie-cutter way to do things in this industry; you truly just have to find what makes you the absolute happiest in this world, and follow that with all of your heart. I do not know where the last five years have gone, and each of my friends (including myself) is on their own path. Where we will be in the next five years will probably be even more drastically different and exciting. But the one thing I can say with absolute confidence? The years of 2007-2011 were some of the best memories of my life, and I cannot wait to make millions of dollars when I sell the sitcom of our insane School of Theatre Arts adventures. My forever love to the IWU SOTA class of 2011.

Now lets hashtag the fuck out of Homecoming 2015 🙂

#TGOE #IWUHC2015

Travel Bug

Well, it’s official. I want to travel the world…forever!

Mammoth Lakes, CA  September 2014

The past few months have been anything but ordinary, but I suppose the life of an actor is destined for anything but ordinary. (Puke. Gross. Can’t believe I said that, but it is honestly so true). Every day is drastically different with new thoughts, new characters, new stories to be told, and new ways to come up with rent money (Almost that time of month. Sigh.)

I have recently had the pleasure of traveling for work, and it has been truly incredible. I feel a sense of happiness and clarity that I have not felt in many years. Within the past 10 months I have spent time in Paris, Puerto Rico, New York, and have taken mini-vacations to Mammoth, CA and Quincy & Chicago, IL to spend time with family and friends. One thing in common with going to all of these places: I felt completely invigorated. And alive. And passionate about my life. Whether I was exploring new cities, or visiting nostalgic places where I grew up – both delighted me so very much. I saw so many different people around the world, and was able to dive into other cultures head first with absolute enthusiasm and wonder.

Perhaps the most curious aspect was that I felt artistically stimulated like I have not in years. Seeing so much art, live theatre every night of the week, walking through some of the most gorgeous fashion districts in the entire world—everything I saw, everything I heard, the wonderful food and wine I tasted, the poetic music I heard—it was all artistic inspiration. I found myself writing everywhere I walked; every person I bumped into led to another idea. It was almost overwhelming at times, my mind continuously flowing, my hand could not write fast enough. As wonderful as it was, it was also very frustrating to look back at so many months of trying to write, staring at blank pages for days and days. I wanted so badly to tell stories, to create material to share with the world, but it would not come. (And it was not that I don’t have stories to tell – anyone who knows me well, knows my life is comprised of some of the craziest circumstances that could have ever happened in a 25 year old woman’s life.)

Paris, France  July 2014

I think the reason these places felt so different to me is because I was approaching every experience with the wonder and curiosity of a child. I was so transfixed with what was happening, and discovering so many new things, I could not help but be completely grounded in each present moment. When comparing this way of living to my everyday life, I feel like that is what I have forgotten. I have forgotten to wake up every morning like a child on Christmas, so excited at the surprises that the day will bring. I believe it is very easy for us to fall into patterns and routines that feel comfortable to create a sense of stability in our lives. Jumping out of patterns of comfort is not easy, but I have found it necessary. As I have been saying a lot this year, nothing happens in the comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong, stability is a beautiful thing; it embodies strength, security and safety. And to most, these are valued aspects of life. But I thrive in adventure and spontaneous circumstances, and was depriving myself of these experiences. The experiences that would turn on my creative brain again, and help me to write freely once again.

San Juan, Puerto Rico   December 2014

I happen to live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I am surrounded by creative minds daily, people who moved to live their dream. I wake up to this beauty every single day. I want to start acting like it and appreciating it. I have challenged myself to continue to push myself out of my comfort zone, and to dive into new experiences and culture while I am in Los Angeles. I am currently supporting as many friends as I can by attending their live music shows, comedy shows, plays, and I am truly touched and inspired again to live in the land of dreams (this is your chance! You better plug your show to me now so I will come!)

New York, NY   April 2015

I am so grateful for the awareness that 2015 has brought: I live in a beautiful place, and I intend to soak up every second of it that I can. Join me, won’t you?

Valentine’s Day Adventure

Sometimes it is difficult for us to proclaim when we are proud of ourselves. When we do, some view this as arrogant or self-absorbent, but in an industry that can tear us down, I believe it is important we build ourselves up. One of the ways we can do this is by sharing our experiences and truly celebrating our accomplishments as we walk on our individual paths. I would like to share my Valentine’s Day adventure, and what I learned about myself in the process.

I had the pleasure this Valentine’s Day to work on set for a commercial with an adorable 6-year-old kiddo, whom I will refer to as Ashley. It was so awesome; on this extensively commercialized day of boxed chocolates and teddy bears, I was fortunate enough to celebrate my love for acting by being on set. I am very grateful for the opportunity, and I learned a number of things on this day of shooting.

1. I am really great with kids.

Any time that I am nannying and doubt my abilities, someone should slap me and shake me out of that doubt. Time and time again, I am reminded of how great I am with children. Ashley was a very well behaved child to begin with, so that always helps. The director was great with her, and it was wonderful to have her mother on set as well. However, it was awesome to rediscover that I think I have this way of talking to children that they truly appreciate. I talk to them as adults; and while they may not be adults, it is approaching them with a deep sense of respect, that in turn, makes them respect you even more.

For example, a quarter of the way through the shoot, Ashley would complain that her little feet hurt from standing so long; she kept whispering this to me, so I already knew I had her trust because she was confiding in me. Instead of telling her to “hang in there” or ignoring her, I would attempt to build her confidence and excitement. (Or my personal favorite, make her giggle until her next take by improvising bits with her or being silly characters). By distracting her from the fact that she would be standing for several more minutes, I helped take the attention away from something that was upsetting her, and allowed her to find joy in our silly moments together between takes. (Don’t get me wrong. I was not causing a ruckus on set – just making silly faces and being a kid again. A very well behaved, non-distracting kid.) I could tell these distractions really helped her while being on set for hours at a time. She was a real champion! Go Ashley!

2. I am a really great director.

When working with Ashley, I realized I truly am a pretty great director. I noticed that children are not always able to “be happier” or “say that louder”; they need a more imaginative direction, in my opinion. This can apply to everyday life for children, too. Although they want you to respect and treat them like adults (to a degree. See #1.), they are also still children with beaming imaginations. I believe this is why improvisation can be so thrilling and fun as adults, because we are literally just stepping back into the imaginative way we used to think as children. So when talking with Ashley between takes (after my amazingly funny characters, of course), I would give her “if, then” scenarios to help her through direction she told me she “didn’t get”. For instance, she had to yell off to her Mommy (me. Yeah I know! How could Brooke possibly be going out for mother roles? I was thinking the same thing. #blessed #youngmom), and she needed to sound louder. So I suggested that she think she is upstairs, and her Mother is downstairs in the kitchen, so she better yell really loudly to make sure she can hear her! BAM! She got it.

3. I am so grateful to be doing what I love.

This industry can be tough. Auditions (if we are grateful enough to get them!) can be daunting. Traffic to auditions can be ridiculous. Set times can be early, and even fall on Valentine’s Day. The letdown after you thought you BOOKED THAT SHIT can be heartbreaking. But you know what? We are choosing to do what we love, in what is quite possibly the most creative city on the planet. I meet new artists (film, music, paint, production, artists in all capacities) every day that inspire me by their love for their work and what they do. I continue to be humbled by this, and am constantly reminded of the beauty of this city and everyone surrounding me. So lets keep going, lets stay persistent, and continue to raise each other up and cheer each other on through the beauty of CREATING.

Change, A Challenge

Life is certainly full of surprises, isn’t it? I would not have it any other way, but sometimes drastic changes in our lives can be hard to adjust to. I have always felt that change is great for us, that it really can shake us up and invigorate our souls.
I lately found my life to be amidst a great shift – I could feel it. While the changes were wonderful and exciting, I felt so much anxiety and turmoil as everything continued to change around me. I could not sleep, did not want to exercise, and was compulsively eating and drinking too much ! What a self destructive way to deal with new opportunities.

One day I was crying, out of excitement and terror, and I just felt this wave come over me and my inner voice said “let Go!”. Let go. LET GO! Let go of your attempt to control your life, and accept what the wonderful universe is sending your way. Be open to change. Say “Yes, and…” knowing you will figure it all out.

It is this mentality that keeps me moving forward, and that openness to change that allows new opportunities to come knocking at my door!

Change can be terrifying, but how would we continue to grow if we did not change?

Side note.
I have always hated olives. I remember having a picnic with a boy in high school, and he brought Medeterranian olives and I gagged at the sight of them.
I recently had a craving for olives. This was strange, as I did not really even know what olives would taste like.
I loaded up at the olive bar at Gelson’s, and I ate every last olive, and I LOVE OLIVES!
Amazing the ways we are constantly changing, and the new things we learn about ourselves.

Just a small example, that if we challenge ourselves to say yes to new things, you never know what the outcome may be!

In 2015, I want to be fearless of change, and accept new things in my life with LOVE and FAITH. I challenge you to do the same; lets welcome changes in our lives with open arms, knowing they will ultimately shape us and lead us to new experiences!

Age is just a number…

This week in a rehearsal for an acting class, a fellow classmate asked me my age, out of the blue. I told her, and she proceeded to say “Ugh. Go fuck yourself.” I thought I understood why she said this, but challenged her words asking what the purpose was. She claimed to be “so old” and so sick of being “so old” in Hollywood. This woman was 2 1/2 years older than I am. I told her that she was beautiful (she is) and that she should not let anything that anyone has told her make her value herself any less, love herself any less, or wish to be anyone other than herself, especially over a number. She said I was young and naive, and didn’t understand the reality of Hollywood, and that one day I would also face this debate of age in show business. I respect her opinion, but I will say this: I may be young and new to this place and this business, but one thing I will never do is let anyone question the love I have for myself. I am not vain, I am not selfish, but I was brought up to value who I am in this world and love myself unconditionally. I find people of ALL ages in this life to be stunning, and I think one of the most beautiful things someone can do is really own who they are, in the moment, and be willing to be vulnerable and share that with the world. I know sometimes the pressure in the business can be overwhelming, and make this a difficult task, but that is no reason to make others feel inadequate as we deal with our own insecurities. So do me a favor this year? Help me spread the LOVE for one another. When someone is beautiful, and you are thinking this in your head, TELL THEM. Because apparently Hollywood is not saying this enough. I refuse to be bitter today, and choose to embrace the age I am and the age that YOU are, today, tomorrow, and forever.

Second City : 2 years of Friendships and LOLs

   I hope that everyone is having a great start to MY favorite season, FALL!  While I am not able to indulge in my favorite seasonal beverage, (Starbuck’s Pumpkin Spice Latte), I was excited to start the season off with Second City Hollywood’s Labor Day Picnic in Griffith Park last week. The picnic was designed to be a bonding experience for the Second City community in Los Angeles; students, graduates, alumni, teachers and staff came together for a day of fun!

         

As classes, shows, and rehearsals are constantly happening at Second City, it is rare that the community is able to come together as a group, at one time and location.  Our staff worked extremely hard at organizing and preparing for the event, and it was such a success!

  Throughout the day, I would look around the park at everyone playing, chatting, eating, and LAUGHING, and I was filled with joy and love.  It was almost two years ago this week (time flies!), that I joined the Second City Hollywood community.  My mother and I made the drive from Quincy, IL, and after taking a day to settle in and be tourists, the next thing on my list was “improv” (at this point I did not have a job either, but it is about PRIORITIES, people.).  After having been heavily involved in improv communities since the age of 12, it was extremely important that I find another community to dive into.  Mother and I went to all of the major improv schools in LA (Second City, Groundlings, UCB, and iOWest), and the question that came out of my mouth was “Can I start today?.”  Second City was the closest to fulfill this request, as I could audition in two days for the Second City Hollywood Conservatory Program.  I did, and that was the best thing to happen to me in Los Angeles to this day.

   I have been fully immersed in the Second City community for an entire two years now.  I am happiest when in the Second City building, surrounded by people I call “friends”, but who truly fill the role of “family”.  I think back on all of the opportunities that have happened at Second City for me in two years, and I become overwhelmed with humility and gratitude: House Manager, Box Office Intern, January 2012 Intern of The Month, Second City Conservatory Graduate, Second City Long Form Program Graduate, Producer of Second City Shorts, Host of Gradfest, Understudy for “Fakers”, Understudy for “Undateable”, Assistant Director for “Undateable”, Second City House Team Ensemble member.  Yes, I have been kept busy, and in the best way possible!

Even better than the opportunities coming from Second City, are the people I am surrounded by every day. I still think back to the first day of my internship, walking into the Second City office to a room full of smiles and laughter that I so badly wanted to be a part of. Coming into contact with a group of people that were so enthusiastic about comedy, and equally enthusiastic about supporting each other, made me completely fall in love.

I think I have become addicted to the happiness that IS Second City Hollywood.  I have made friends that I know will last a lifetime, and I continue to look forward to see what everyone will do through their love of improv and comedy in this city.  I love you, Second City.  Thanks for an awesome two years, and many more to come!

^The first morning of my internship at Second City Hollywood, two years ago^

Perspective

Perspective is everything. Having a positive perspective of a situation can truly change the situation.  Things have been pretty great lately, but we all have difficult days that we can attempt to learn from.

As far as my allergies go, things are becoming much easier; I know my staple foods and restaurants I can frequent without being hesitant about possible allergic reactions.  I have experimented with many new recipes, and I continue to be in “scavenger hunt mode” for more new foods (and Gluten Free Beers, duh!).

However, some days, man…it can be hard.  If I really sit and think about all the foods that I cannot have, and wallow in my misery, that is when it is the worst.  I used to be so passionate about new restaurants, and craft beers, and the most delicious aspects of life, but much of this was stripped from me. 

I recently went home to the Chicago area, and that provided some complications finding allergy-free options.  I was so thankful that my family was prepared for my arrival, having an allergy-free stocked fridge.  However, finding a restaurant in the city that was completely able to accommodate my needs was difficult to find and I became very frustrated.  After having gone into about seven different restaurants, I was about to give up when we happened across an Italian very “Chicago” restaurant; beer, pizza, pasta, you get the picture.  I sat down and took a deep breath, hoping to find even a little something to eat because I had not really eaten all day.  Then the storm passed, and I was confronted with a chef that was willing to come out to my table and design a special dish for me.  He would be making me salmon with artichokes, tomatoes, garlic and peas.  Not only that, but would be preparing completely different, overseeing the process and making sure the fish was baked because I was allergic to all the oils the restaurant had.  It was absolutely delicious! And LUCKY me, the restaurant just happened to carry the pear cider that I drink frequently in Los Angeles.

I also recently saw a tweet on Twitter that said, “Think of where you were one year ago… Two years ago. Think of how far you have come!” That is sometimes difficult to remember, especially in a city of actors where it is easy comparing yourself to other actor’s careers!  If I stop to really think about what I have accomplished in the last two years, it is truly astounding!  I try to record goals I have had, and reflect on the goals I have met.  I can be very rewarding to really sit and focus on the accomplishments you have made; not in a vein way, but it certainly promotes confidence and belief in yourself.

I get wrapped up in goals I currently have and am currently not accomplishing.  However, if I think of last year, all I wanted was to actually go out on auditions, and be able to chime into other actor’s conversations that related to audition experience.  Now I am going out so much more frequently, and what a blessing that is!  A chance to ACT; to perform in front of others and do what I love best!  I must stop focusing on the jobs I do not book, and focus on the auditions that really felt awesome, and celebrate that accomplishment! Especially celebrating my team as well, an agency that is truly passionate about working together.

It is important to keep the positive perspective, and to truly live in the moment RIGHT NOW 🙂

Lets be PRESENT and SUPPORTIVE

Life has certainly been interesting.  Just one month ago I became a “person” again.  After giving up all of the foods I was allergic to, I developed an insane sickness that kept me in bed for almost two weeks.  On top of being bed-ridden, not being able to work or make money because of it, and still discovering how to eat allergy-free, an intense sadness fell over me.  I think that it was inevitable in that situation to completely avoid sadness, but I truly found it hard to stay positive.  All of the support of people around me made it easier, and the fact that I got to watch movies and read books for hours and hours each day made me smile.

But then there were almost 12 hours a day where my head would just race, and think of things I never think of day to day.  It is interesting: In a society that is so fast-paced, we

rarely take time to think, or to actually be present in where we are and what we are doing. One of my favorite improvisers and teachers, Dave Razowsky, often talks about [being present where you are, both in life and while you are improvising.]

So I did just that. I sat and was present in my sickness.  But in all of this “thinking time”, I allowed myself to be present in what my life is, and where I am. 

And this is where the table turned.

A huge wave of joy and positivity consumed me; I am in such an awesome place in my life right now, with such amazing people around me.  There are two particular places that really exemplify this: Second City and The Groundlings, both part of the improv community, yet both very different schools.  However, what I love most about both of these places is the support and comfort of being with my fellow improvisers.  I have been at Second City for over a year now, and it has truly become my family in Los Angeles.  Every time I enter that building, I am greeted with genuine smiles, creativity and love.  There is no pressure to get anything “right”, because the process of improv is about the process of learning, not about product.

Having started to be a part of The Groundlings community in January, it is a much newer place to me.  But in my class, I am surrounded by some of the most fun and fantastic people I have ever met.  My teacher is one of the most passionate people I have ever met, and makes every single exercise we do absolutely thrilling.  My favorite part? Every single time someone is asked up on stage, and every single time someone leaves the stage after an exercise, everyone is required to applaud.  At first, this was hard to get used to, but I find it so wonderfully thrilling now.  Giving absolute support for each and every person, no matter what happens on stage.  Being there for each other no matter what happens, and applauding the act of getting on the stage and trying your best. What an amazing and positive action!

I began thinking about this, and why in Los Angeles this does not tend to happen with each other in every day life.  Perhaps in a city full of self-conscious actors, we find it vulnerable to go out of our way to applaud someone else, seeing as the attention is not on us.   But I think we should do the opposite.  Yes, we will always have competition between one another.  Yes, we will always be trying to get to the “top” (whatever the “top” means to you).  Yet, I think we need to be each other’s support systems, and applaud each other for being in this city, being in this business, and for working hard at our dreams every single day.

So I pledge to support my creative friends, by going to their shows, asking about their accomplishments, and sending positive energy their way for auditions and other steps in their careers. Think how much stronger we can be as a supportive group of artists!

New Years “Resolutions”

2013 certainly arrived quickly, and with quite a big discovery for me.  As everyone was exclaiming their New Year resolutions, I, too, was wanting to execute the most popular resolutions: eat healthier, cook more, and save money.  However, Life had a big surprise for me that was going to make all of these “resolutions” mandatory.  For most of my life I have had health issues; not drastic, but I have had a weak immune system and digestion issues. For anyone who knows me well, hearing that I am sick or seeking medical attention is never really a surprise.  A few years ago I underwent several tests to find out if I had Celiac’s disease, but I never got clear answers.  Doctors thought I “probably did not have Celiac’s” , but if I wanted to cut gluten out it may be a good idea.  Now, Celiac’s runs in my family, so I have always taken digestive health seriously, especially after losing my Grandfather (who had Celiac’s) to colon cancer.  After all of my testing, I cut out gluten for a while, but did not continue this for more than a few months.  I did feel better, but alas, my stubborn brain reminded me that I “probably did not have Celiac’s” (according to that particular doctor), and I reverted back to my gluten-filled ways. 

 Since moving to Los Angeles a year ago, my allergies have gotten progressively worse. This past December, I had to leave work at least four times because they were so bad; my eyes get very watery, sinuses go into “full-flood” mode, and my skin becomes tight and itches (all of this is gross, I am aware.)  I also broke out in hives approximately five times in December.  After I realized my prescription allergy medication was not working anymore, I scheduled an appointment with an allergist.  We agreed to test me for environmental allergies, as well as food allergies.  We then created a list of foods that are regularly in my diet, and would be testing for those. 

Brace yourself, everyone.  The results are as follows:

Environmentally I am allergic to everything. EVERYTHING. Cool.

Food Allergies:

Gluten      Bananas           Broccoli

Dairy        All tree nuts     Carrots

Soy           Spinach           Celery

Eggs

ALL Citrus Fruit (this includes Citric Acid, which is in everything)

Grapes

All berries (except blueberries)

Apples

My immediate reaction was to cry my eyes out.  The doctor assured me that I would be fine, but would need to immediately cut all of these foods out of my diet. (Side Note: I went grocery shopping the day before to fill my pantry and fridge after having been home for Christmas. Cool.).  I called my best friend and I called my Mom.  I cried to both of them.But I knew this was not how I should be reacting! After years of fighting horrible allergies and stomach problems, all of the answers were finally revealed!

 So, my POSITIVE mind-set kicked in, and I started counting my blessings and getting proactive.

 Perhaps one of the biggest blessings out of all of this is that my best friend has the exact same allergies. (Not that I feel this is a blessing for either of us. I mean the mere fact that it is insane that two people so close could have the same allergies.) But seriously.  Other than some of my unusual vegetable and fruit allergies, she has the SAME allergies!  The second I called her, she embraced me with her support and absolute positivity, knowing that I COULD do this if I kept to my positive mind-set!  She immediately sent me several blogs and websites that offer support for these allergies as well.  And her mother (who has the same allergies as us!) has done the same in helping me find allergy-free recipe books and support systems.  Honestly, if I did not have them, this would have been so much more of a challenge; but I see how healthy they are, how good they feel being allergy-free, and I cannot help but be inspired to do the same.

 

This week, I gave away about $500 dollars worth of a stocked pantry full of my allergies, and I am never looking back!  I have started cooking every day, and am researching daily about allergy-free lifestyles.

 I feel empowered and have never been more excited about making such drastic changes in my life.  I know I will feel better, and I know I have an amazing family and support system around me who will continue to lift me up.

 So, next time I am determined to follow through with New Year “resolutions”, I guess I should be careful what I wish for; life just may force me to do them!

 Here is to LIFE changes for 2013.  I wish you all the best this year, and encourage you to see the positive in all that life brings…

Choose your Happiness

It is easy to focus on negative energy around us; it is ALL around us. Working in the service industry, this seems especially easy to come by; People not wanting to work in a restaurant, people who are jaded after having worked in a restaurant for years, customers who have had a bad day and wish to blame it on you.  Like I said, it can be easy to turn into “Negative Nancy”.   And lets face it: we are all human, and we all have bad days!  Positivity cannot change that, but I am constantly trying to fight the battle of negative thoughts.  Since moving to Los Angeles, I have met so many actors who let the fact that they have to have a “day job” hinder their happiness.  “I will only be happy once I am paid to do what I love.” I get it…that would make me extremely happy as well.  But here is the thing, what amount of money from acting will make you happy?  Or what project will make you the happiest?  Even the most highly paid actors in the industry talk about the uncertainty of where their next project will come from.  Heck, Adele kept her job at a record store after her album 19 was released, because she just was not sure if people would like it, and she did not want to lose her day job.  Here is what I say: I am an ACTOR who has to wait tables to pay my bills.  First and foremost, I am an actress.  In order to live this lifestyle, I have had to make sacrifices to get what I want, and to get to where I am today.  I choose to make the best of every situation, and waiting tables teaches me a lot.  It helps me learn how to deal with people, and how to build relationships (nothing is more heart-warming than having regulars come in to ask to sit in your section because they like you, or find you insanely hilarious J) It has helped me learn to not be frivolous with my money, and learn how to save for important things such as headshots, acting classes, workshops, and very important things like my future!  I have also met awesome people at my job, both fellow employees and customers; they constantly support me and encourage me, which is something we all need to keep pushing us!  Like I said, I have rough days too, but if we can really focus on choosing to be happy, happiness will surround us.  And yes, this is easier said than done, but practice and it does get so much easier! Do not let life determine your happiness. Be happy, and live your life!